What about this could irk somebody?
I'm a member of an adoption forum (not Teatime, another one which will remain nameless). A lady posted on there that she was looking for quotes on fatherhood. So I posted this:
"You don't become a great dad by donating your sperm. Lots of guys do that without ever acting much like a real Dad. Being a really great Dad takes three things - none of which require your genes:
Love God above all else.
Love the Mother of your Children.
Love your children like you want to be loved"
My husband, Andy"
Now, this had been on there for a couple of weeks, and I check today and there's this quote from some user that, obviously, is less than intelligent:
"I dont want to get in an argument. However, that statement really irked me a lot."
First of all, he DID want to start an argument, or he wouldn't have said anything. Secondly, don't bash my husband cause if you do, there WILL be an argument because he's about as close to perfect as any man I know.
After reading, and re-reading Andy's statement, I'm still wondering what could "irk" someone about it? Is it not true??? Are you required to be genetically linked to your children in order to be a good parent to them, or is he offended because I *gasp* mentioned God??? Basically, I really don't give a flying flip if this guy liked what I posted or not. I checked his post history and he seems to love disagreement and keeping something stirred up (which is pretty typical of a lot of the users and administrators on this particular forum). Bottom line...Andy is enzacly (the way Tilley prounounces exactly) right! You wanna know how I know???? Because everyday I watch the man that I love live with a houseful of kids that aren't genetically linked to them, and he is a GREAT father!!!
Love you, Andy...kissie, kissie.
posted by Jill @ 12:21 PM
1 Comments:
I enjoy reading your blog and admire you for all you do. But this post has been on my mind for the last day. I can see how the statement could offend someone from a different situation. There are many of us who were raised without God as a presence in our lives, and the people we have met who are very religious have not had admirable personality traits (hypocritical zealots who hide behind the Bible instead of doing what's morally right), so asking us to accept God in the way you've always known is like asking you to accept a stranger into your life everywhere you go. Also, there are a lot of bad women out there who give birth to babies raised by their fathers and are otherwise absent or harmful to their children's lives. So the statement that in order to be a really good father someone must love God even if they've never known one, and must love the child's mother even if she's molested the child or something worse, probably hits home to a lot of fathers who are really struggling and doing a great job at it.
I guess depending upon how one interprets love the last part can also be confusing. On one hand, you could say that a child needs a different kind of love, a tough love sometimes, but it should always be unconditional. Children don't always understand the ways we love them until they're grown and see things clearly. I wonder what the world would be like if all of us could love each other the way we love our children.
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